The answer is "Practice"
Trying to maintain control in this life is like trying to maintain control on a roller coaster. The ride has its own logic and is going to go its own way, regardless of how tightly you grip the bar. There is a thrill and a power in simply surrendering to the ride and fully feeling the ups and downs of it, letting the curves take you rather than fighting them.
When you fight the ride, resisting what’s happening at every turn, your whole being becomes tense and anxiety is your close companion. When you go with the ride, accepting what you cannot control, freedom and joy will inevitably arise.
As with so many seemingly simple things in life, it is not always easy to let go, even of the things we know we can’t control. Most of us feel a great discomfort with the givens of this life, one of which is the fact that much of the time we have no control over what happens.
Sometimes this awareness comes only when we have a stark encounter with this fact, and all our attempts to be in control are revealed to be useless.
In such difficult situations that are beyond our control, when we realize our helplessness, then only we become aware of the fact that there is nothing we can do other than to "Surrender".
Kare karaave aape aap, Maanas ke kichh nahin haath”
“Tera bhaana meetha laage, Naam padaarth Nanak maange”
We can cultivate this awareness in ourselves gently, slowly by simply making surrender a daily practice.
Occasionally remembering this Mantra; a part of the Sumiran "Me Teri Sharan" - मैं तेरी शरण - “I surrender to thee.” and repeating it with the awareness of its deeper meaning, can prepare us to face the future unpleasant situations calmly.
This simple mantra has a great power if remembered and spoken with the awareness of its meaning and should be repeated as many times throughout the day, especially when we find ourselves in those situations that are beyond our control.
We can give in to our fear and anxiety, or we can surrender willingly with courage. When we see people on a roller coaster, we see that there are those with their faces tight with fear and then there are those that smile broadly, laughing loudly with their hands in the air, carried through the ride on a wave of joy.
This powerful image reminds us that often the only control we have is choosing how we are going to respond to the ride.