There are things we don’t want to happen

Yesterday, I lost one of my beloved uncles, who was like my father to me. 

In fact - I was practically raised by him in my early childhood.

People always talk about mothers - but often forget how significant roles fathers and father-like figures also play in our life - selflessly and silently.
That's how I feel about him. 

Though he did so much for me throughout my life, but he never reminded me or tried to put any obligation on me for what he did for me - not even a single time during his life.

When I saw my cousin's message about his passing, I thought:

There are things that we don’t want to know - but we have to.
There are things that we don’t want to happen -
but they happen, and we have to accept them.
We don't want to lose some people - but we have to let them go.

They say love is stronger than death - yet, even love can not stop death.
But no matter how hard it tries - death can not take love away from the hearts.
It can not take away the memories either.
Memory is a way of holding onto the people you love - people you never want to lose.
Therefore, in the end, love is stronger than death.

                        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The last time I visited him was in 2019. 

When I was leaving, he said to me: 

Eh aakhri vaari hai - phir milnaa nahin hona"

(This is the last time - won't be able to see you again)

I wanted to see him again, but I could not go back because of the pandemic.

However, my only regret is that I was never able to do anything for him - or serve him in any way.

Nevertheless, he was well-served and well taken care of by his son, daughter-in-law, and grandchildren - who took very good care of him till the end.
And he went very peacefully - within a few minutes - without any suffering. Said bye to his son and daughter-in-law when they left for work. About an hour later - after taking a bath, he called his grandson. By the time he came from the other room, he was gone.

Isn't that the best way to go?

Three weeks ago - his 90th birthday was celebrated.

Just a few days ago - we lost another great saint also - Rev. Bhalla Sahib (Houston) - who was also 90 and also went very peacefully.

But how many people are lucky enough to go like that?

That's what I always like to pray for myself:
         अनायासेन मरणं विना दैन्येन जीवनम् 
         देहान्ते तव सायुज्यं देहि मे परमेश्वरम

Anaayaasena maranam, Vinaa-dainyena jeevanam
Dehaantay tava saayujyam dehi may Parmeshvaram

Meaning:

'Death without affliction;  Life without conflict and exertion; 

Thy remembrance and proximity upon leaving the body 

- grant me these O' Lord'. 

I had seen Bhapa Ram Chand ji and  Bhapa Bhagat Ram ji quite often repeating and finishing their Sumiran with a similar phrase in Urdu: 

Hey Ghareeb-nawaaz, Kisi da mohtaaz na Karin – Be-mohtaaz rakhin'. 

Which means - 

O' Lord – Please do not make me ever become dependent on anyone. Please grant me self-sufficiency.'

First: Not becoming dependent - being able to function and take care of yourself -

and secondly, having a loving family and children - who will take care of you in old age and time of need - are the best things we could ask and pray for ourselves.

Everyone loves their beloved friends and family members and grieves & yearns for them when they leave this world - regardless of their age.

However, memory is a great way - a rather only way to keep them alive in our hearts and our lives.

May we always remember and continue to derive inspiration from them. 

                                                     ' Rajan Sachdeva '