Tuesday, March 7, 2017

Loving our children in a real way

Loving my daughter comes so easily when 
she wins a competition, 
gets high marks, 
listens to me, 
keeps her room clean, 
finishes her food, 
pays attention while studying, 
sleeps on time, 
Never raises her voice and 
practices dance/singing/drawing without me reminding her.

That's the  easy way to love....

However when I look back at my childhood I realize that the moments I really wanted love badly were when 
I scored less marks, 
failed in a competition, 
couldn't fall asleep,
Didn't feel like studying,
Wanted to laze around,
Didn't finish the Tiffin,
Didn't complete homework,
Forgot an important assignment,
Fought with a friend,
Had a heartbreak,
Committed a mistake,
Felt guilty,
Felt lonely....

These were the moments when I needed my parents the most, I needed their assurance that it is okay to be human, to fall, to get hurt and what I wanted to listen in those moments was, "i know it hurts, but I'm here with you. Maybe we can't do anything about what happened, but I'm here with you. And I love you for what you are, always."

This is real and  unconditional way to love!
Yes I wanted to hear, "I love you" loud and clear....it was the only thing that could heal my heart. Love!

It's the moments when we lose control of ourselves that we want someone to hold us, isn't it? You don't need to be perfect....just be real!

Do you chose love the easy way or the real, unconditional way?

Today no matter what your child does, choose Love and see how it heals you as a parent. 


-©Gayatri Aptekar, 2017
Parent Coach, Therapist


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