लालयेत पंच वर्षेषु - दश वर्षेषु ताड़येत
प्राप्ते तु षोडशे वर्षे - पुत्रे मित्र वदाचरेत
Laalyait Panch varsheshu - Dash varsheshu Taadyait
प्राप्ते तु षोडशे वर्षे - पुत्रे मित्र वदाचरेत
Laalyait Panch varsheshu - Dash varsheshu Taadyait
Praaptay tu Shodshay varshay - Putray mitra vadaacharait
(From Subhaashita - An Ancient Sanskrit Scripture)
For the first five years, give all your love – provide as much as you can.
For the next ten years, teach strongly with an iron fist (the proper Samskaaras, principles, and morals - to build up his character); with strict discipline.
(From Subhaashita - An Ancient Sanskrit Scripture)
For the next ten years, teach strongly with an iron fist (the proper Samskaaras, principles, and morals - to build up his character); with strict discipline.
After he reaches the age of sixteen*, a son should be treated as a friend; as an equal - with respect for his knowledge; his views and judgments.
Note: Nowadays, sixteen might be too young to be considered as a responsible, mature adult. Perhaps we should add a few more years and change this to twenty-one or so.
Note: Nowadays, sixteen might be too young to be considered as a responsible, mature adult. Perhaps we should add a few more years and change this to twenty-one or so.
With all due respect.. This is very unfortunate to see that time changes but human mind don't change as per time. I don't know who wrote this and what time and situation it was written. But this has no practical meaning in today time. Raising child is secondary because a child is nothing but it's two people true representation. I think first parents needs to be fixed. They themselves are full of issues. Raising a child needs lot of love, patience, wisdom and a firm acceptance of God will. If you think that you can teach a child.. you are very wrong in first place. A child learn from the environment not from the person. Parents create toxic environment ... so a child become toxic. And look at the some of the famous public fig and find out where they went wrong in their parenting... Respected Mahatama Gandhi older son ? Respected Kabir older son? Steve jobs daughter ? Bill gates relationship with his father... i can go on many many examples where people failed miserably... A religious mind can never raise a child.. that mind can produce a carbon copy of himself/herself. Raising a child is something different. It need lot of self intorspection... not a holy book or religious dogma instructions to raise a child. That clearly shows that you are already incapable of raising a child.
ReplyDeleteHello Mr. Unknown - First of all, thanks for your comments.
DeleteLet's go through your objections - one by one.
You said "It has no practical meaning in today's time"
Which part of this Shloka is not practical? Giving love? or teaching morality to build up his character? Or treating him as a friend and respecting his views and opinions after he becomes an adult?
You also said "Raising child is secondary"
Secondary to what? Why is it a secondary choice if you have a child?
You said " Raising a child needs lot of love, patience, wisdom and a firm acceptance of God will"
Read the first part of the Shloka one more time please. This is exactly what it says "Give all your love and teach wisdom and morality with firm discipline". We will come back later to the part where you said "and a firm acceptance of God will".
Your next objection is:
"If you think that you can teach a child.. you are very wrong in first place. A child learn from the environment not from the person"
May I ask who provides the environment to a 5- 7-10 -15 year old child? It's the parents of course. If it is not the duty of parents or a person to raise and teach children then whose job is it? Government or social organizations?
No where in this stanza the author says that parents should not provide the right environment.
When we say "teach the child" - it undoubtedly means teaching of good things. When we send children to school it is understood that we want good things to be taught to them. If the children pick up wrong things then we may blame the teachers, parents or the environment but no parent send his or her children to be taught bad things in a toxic environment.
You said " Parents create toxic environment ... so a child becomes toxic"
Do all parents create toxic environment for their children? Are all the parents guilty of this crime in your opinion or in your personal experience?
You gave few examples of M. Gandhi, Steve Jobs and Bill gates and added " i can go on many many examples where people failed miserably.."
You may be right about this, but at the same time, numerous - countless examples can also be given where the parents provided excellent environments to raise wonderful and successful children with human values and great mannerism. We can't take just a few bad examples and blame it on all parents.
Your last comment "A religious mind can never raise a child. ------ It need lot of self introspection... not a holy book or religious dogma instructions"
Please read the Shloka in question again - No where it says that one should follow a holy book or religious scripture to raise the child. In fact, it is you who has added in your suggestions "a firm acceptance of God will".
Now, with all due respect - by mentioning God - it is you who is bringing the religion in this topic - not the author.
I think this unknown but wise author did not mention God or religion anywhere in his Shloka to address and acknowledge the loving and caring parenthood of all the atheist parents of the world as well who try to raise their children with love and righteousness.
Let's not be hasty in judging others according to our own beliefs - without understanding the real meaning and their intentions.
I think advice of the kind given in the above Shaloka is for the benefit of general public and a huge majority does benefit from it. However, a very small percentage of people due their individual circumstances or issues being faced or for any other reason may not agree or benefit.
ReplyDeleteI also think there is a lot of wisdom in the Shaloka and that you very beautifully further clarified it. Thanks for regularly sharing such words of wisdom which is greatly appreciated.