Bring those back who are not coming anymore.
For one reason or the other, some people stop coming to the congregation.
When they do come, we usually tend to taunt them with phrases like:
"So, you finally decided to show up ... eh?"
“Where were you for so long? Don't you know it's very important to make your presence here?
“It’s good that you finally came. Now, don't ever miss again.
It’s your loss if you don’t come, not ours”.
"If you don't come to the congregation regularly, then you will lose everything - including the Gyana. And you will face all kind of sufferings" etc.
We don't realize that we are insulting them by saying such things. Knowingly or unknowingly; unintentionally, we hurt them more - and make them feel why did they even come today?
If you really want to bring someone back, then just say these three simple things:
We missed you - We love you - We need you.
Say it genuinely - not superficially.
Sometimes our tone and body language do not match the words we are saying.
Say it with love - make them feel that you mean it.
Also, please remember these three things:
Don't pressure - Don't preach - Don’t condemn.
Just let them know that you care.
If they feel loved and welcomed, they will surely keep coming back.
As Poorn Prakash 'Saaqi' - a great poet used to say:
"Koi kehtaa nahin in say ki chalay aaiyega 'Saaqi'
Shamma ho raushan to parwaanay chalay aatay hain"
No one asks them to come here O' Saaqi'
When the candle of love is lighted the seekers start pouring from everywhere.
"कोई कहता नहीं इनसे कि चले आइएगा 'साक़ी '
शम्मा हो रौशन, तो परवाने चले आते हैं "
‘Rajan Sachdeva’
For one reason or the other, some people stop coming to the congregation.
When they do come, we usually tend to taunt them with phrases like:
"So, you finally decided to show up ... eh?"
“Where were you for so long? Don't you know it's very important to make your presence here?
“It’s good that you finally came. Now, don't ever miss again.
It’s your loss if you don’t come, not ours”.
"If you don't come to the congregation regularly, then you will lose everything - including the Gyana. And you will face all kind of sufferings" etc.
We don't realize that we are insulting them by saying such things. Knowingly or unknowingly; unintentionally, we hurt them more - and make them feel why did they even come today?
If you really want to bring someone back, then just say these three simple things:
We missed you - We love you - We need you.
Say it genuinely - not superficially.
Sometimes our tone and body language do not match the words we are saying.
Say it with love - make them feel that you mean it.
Also, please remember these three things:
Don't pressure - Don't preach - Don’t condemn.
Just let them know that you care.
If they feel loved and welcomed, they will surely keep coming back.
As Poorn Prakash 'Saaqi' - a great poet used to say:
"Koi kehtaa nahin in say ki chalay aaiyega 'Saaqi'
Shamma ho raushan to parwaanay chalay aatay hain"
No one asks them to come here O' Saaqi'
When the candle of love is lighted the seekers start pouring from everywhere.
"कोई कहता नहीं इनसे कि चले आइएगा 'साक़ी '
शम्मा हो रौशन, तो परवाने चले आते हैं "
‘Rajan Sachdeva’
Beautifully explained. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteExcellent. The problem is we are also a small family culture and many times get too personal.
ReplyDeleteSome people stop coming because they are divorced now and dont wish to explain themselves, or are not married and dont wish to explain themselves, some are newly married couples and dont have a child yet and dont want to be asked why...so its nice to have a loving congregation family but at the same time people want to come to a religious or a spiritual place for the following reasons:
1) They are learning something and feel their life becoming enhanced.
2) They want to go...they feel the love, comfort and peace.
Otherwise its just a cultural ritual...and reality is that is what it is for many.
Very rightly said hazoor: शम्मा हो रौशन, तो परवाने चले आते हैं "
ReplyDeleteSo the focus is शम्मा and that should be रौशन, so that परवाने will come automatically, they don’t need to be invited.
Very true....
I agree this is really explained very well. Please bless us so we can remember this. Dhan Nirankar Ji.
ReplyDeleteThank you very much for this reminder, Uncle Ji! Agree 100% with you. There seems to be a dire need to be sensitive of others' feelings. Dhan Nirankar Ji.
ReplyDelete"Don't chase the butterfly. Mend your garden, let the butterfly come."
ReplyDelete