Three Filters for Conversation

There is an old proverb that every word we speak should first pass through three gates or filters:

1. Is it true?

2. Is it necessary?

3. Is it kind?

Interestingly, this saying has been attributed to several notable figures, including Socrates, the Buddha, and recently, Rumi, the 13th-century Sufi poet. Though there is no evidence of this proverb in Rumi's original Persian writings.

However, regardless of who said it first, it's a beautiful proverb.

It doesn't matter who said it first.

It's a beautiful quote worth emulating if we look at it from the perspective of "what was said" rather than "who said it."

The story goes something like this: 

Someone approached Socrates (or Lord Buddha) and said: 

"I want to tell you something about one of our mutual friends." 

Socrates (or Buddha) said:

“Wait. Before you tell me anything, let me ask you three questions.

 First, is it true?”

“I don’t know,” the man answered.

“Is it necessary for me to know this?”

“Perhaps not.”

“Is it good and kind, or beneficial to me in any way?”

“Maybe not.”

“Then I do not need to hear it,” Socrates said.

          ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Many scholars trace this story and the roots of this teaching to Buddhist philosophy, where mindful speech plays a central role in ethical living.

But regardless of the origin, whether this story belongs to Lord Buddha or Socrates, it carries a beautiful message. 

In today's world - full of noise, fake narratives, and false propaganda - these three simple questions can help us speak and listen more honestly, objectively, and fairly.

And eventually, we can also understand when silence may be more important than speaking and gossip.

                                             " Rajan Sachdeva "