At one time or the other, we all run into certain situations when we feel hurt by the actions or behaviors of others - may it be friends, relatives, loved ones or even strangers.
Often, when we feel hurt, we become angry and feel like taking revenge. And then, depending upon our Sanskaars - our upbringing and the ideology - we might hear an inner voice saying - Let it go - Forgive - and Forget.
But it's not that easy, and depending on the severity of the incidence, we start pondering upon the question whether to forgive or not.
Before we make the final decision, we should first try to understand what forgiveness means and who will benefit from it more.
Forgiveness isn't something we do only for those who hurt us; it is something we do for ourselves as well.
When we feel cheated, abused and hurt, we constantly keep on thinking about it. We don't know if the other person even remembers it or not, but we keep on feeling angry and hurt inside.
Therefore, eventually, it is us who will receive more benefit from forgiving.
Can we forget the incidence altogether?
Letting it go and forgetting the incidence is never easy.
However, by forgiving, we will be accepting the reality of what happened and finding a way to live in a state of resolution with it. By forgiving, we will be putting our own mind at peace. We will become free of anger and anxiety, even if we do not tell the person that he or she is forgiven.
It may be hard to do. If we are not able to forgive immediately, then we can try to achieve it in a gradual process - if we have the willingness to forgive.
However, the sooner we forgive, the sooner we will feel relieved and at peace with our-self.
' Rajan Sachdeva '
Often, when we feel hurt, we become angry and feel like taking revenge. And then, depending upon our Sanskaars - our upbringing and the ideology - we might hear an inner voice saying - Let it go - Forgive - and Forget.
But it's not that easy, and depending on the severity of the incidence, we start pondering upon the question whether to forgive or not.
Before we make the final decision, we should first try to understand what forgiveness means and who will benefit from it more.
Forgiveness isn't something we do only for those who hurt us; it is something we do for ourselves as well.
When we feel cheated, abused and hurt, we constantly keep on thinking about it. We don't know if the other person even remembers it or not, but we keep on feeling angry and hurt inside.
Therefore, eventually, it is us who will receive more benefit from forgiving.
Can we forget the incidence altogether?
Letting it go and forgetting the incidence is never easy.
However, by forgiving, we will be accepting the reality of what happened and finding a way to live in a state of resolution with it. By forgiving, we will be putting our own mind at peace. We will become free of anger and anxiety, even if we do not tell the person that he or she is forgiven.
It may be hard to do. If we are not able to forgive immediately, then we can try to achieve it in a gradual process - if we have the willingness to forgive.
However, the sooner we forgive, the sooner we will feel relieved and at peace with our-self.
' Rajan Sachdeva '
So true uncle. I heard a story once where a wife cheated on her husband really badly and they got divorced. Even after many months had passed and she had even apologized, he was really upset. He actually wanted to forgive her but he couldn’t—which is understandable because often times we get hurt most deeply when it’s people we trust who lie to us or betray us. He wanted to forgive but his mind wouldn’t allow it. That’s when someone (I believe it was a boss) gave this man a tip to practice every day. He told him to put his password on his computer to be “Forgive@Her”. He tried this and every time he unlocked his computer, he had to type this in. The first few days he regretted putting in this password. But within a couple of weeks, he found himself starting to forgive his ex-wife. And withing a few more weeks he was able to fully forgive her. He decided to continue using this tactic to subliminally accomplish things he felt he could never accomplish such as some tough career goals, financial goals, weight loss, etc.
ReplyDeleteAnd you are absolutely correct uncle that in forgiving others, we are actually doing ourselves a huge favor. Thank you for sharing this post. Take care
Thanks Mahapursho ji. You have probably cleared some of my doubts and certainly answers which were awaited.
ReplyDeleteThanks Mahapursho ji for Posting this wonderful idea. You have probably cleared my certain doubts and answers which were much awaited.
ReplyDelete